Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
I’m now back in Brussels, where children who go to Dutch-speaking schools are just back from holidays and children who go to French-speaking schools are still waiting to take their vacation (and children who go to international schools don’t need to take holidays because they weekend in ski lodges).
It’s been a tough week for politicians and education. In Germany, Britta Ernst, who happens to be the wife of Chancellor Olaf Scholz, is stepping down as education minister of the east German state of Brandenburg. Ernst wanted to cut 200 vacant teaching positions and staff them with social workers instead, a plan that didn’t go down well with her colleagues in the local Social Democratic Party, who presumably thought that hiring actual teachers was the way to go.
Meanwhile in the U.K., Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has vowed to boost numeracy among Brits and promised to take on an “anti-maths mindset” that, he argued, sees being bad with numbers as “socially acceptable.”
Sunak has been pushing his “maths to 18” policy (or math, as it’s known around POLITICO Towers), which aims to radically improve numeracy by having 60 percent of Brits be able to count up to 18 without the aid of a calculator (or something).
Of course even the most numerically minded among us would need help working out the massive amount of cash that Rupert Murdoch’s Fox will have to shell out to voting equipment company Dominion in a defamation lawsuit in the U.S. The right-wing media company must pay an eye-watering $787.5 million after Dominion argued its business was harmed by Fox spreading false claims that the 2020 presidential vote had been rigged against Donald Trump.
The news of the settlement — which was announced just before scheduled opening statements were due to be presented in court — came just two weeks after the 92-year-old Murdoch and Ann Lesley Smith, a 66-year-old former dental hygienist-turned-conservative radio host, abruptly called off their engagement. Perhaps Smith knew that (relatively speaking) belt-tightening times were on the horizon.
Fox still has to contend with a similar lawsuit from another voting technology company, Smartmatic, which is seeking $2.7 billion in damages for allegedly defamatory claims about the 2020 presidential election.
In a statement after the deal with Dominion was struck, Fox said the settlement reflects its “continued commitment to the highest journalistic standards,” a collection of words which makes the lives those of us who write satire rather difficult.
CAPTION COMPETITION
“A what agreement? Trade? Sorry, can’t hear you.“
Can you do better? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque
Last time we gave you this photo:
Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best from our postbag — there’s no prize except for the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than cash or booze.
“Can you see the crowds of people, Emmanuel? Those are the Anglo-Saxons who can’t read French and won‘t understand your ‘petite philosophie‘ about Taiwan,” by Tereza Novotna.
Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot news editor.
